Ihesie’s core desire in all that she
is doing is “sexually liberating women and men by providing contraceptives and
sex education.” And I get it. With a population of over 200
million, ranking 7th in the world, one would think a country like
Nigeria would have a liberal approach in discussing the human anatomy but for some
reason talking about segz de be big problem.
The estimated worth of the global sex
industry is worth a reported £150bn meaning there is high demand for
penetration. In countries like Germany, prostitution is legal and just like any
other industry, regulating bodies and trade unions are in place so workers can
rightfully have that blanket of protection should anything go awry in their
working life. They can also get health checks without fear of judgement and contribute
to society by paying their taxes which in turn benefits the country’s economy
whilst also reducing the risk of human trafficking.
Unfortunately, within Africa only
Senegal has been able to systemise the sex trade and it certainly begs the question
why Nigeria has not jumped on board when the advantages are more apparent. Some
might say that the federal government’s hesitancy in legalising sex work is due
to its fear of promoting promiscuous behaviour but really and truly it is about
protecting the women (and men) who for whatever reason have found themselves in
a place where that is their source of income.
Hence why initiatives like Ihesie’s ‘MyBodyIsMine’
which she started in 2018 giving out free condoms and offering free STI health
checks to sex workers are invaluable; deploying empathy to this community and
not making them feel isolated than they already are. To date she has taught
over 2,000 students about their reproductive health and was recently recognised
by The Aspen Institute as a New Voices Fellow for her efforts.
Bottomline – Nigerians love sex and
we are fertile.
But being a highly religious and
spiritual country, it can make one think otherwise. Those of us who grew up in Nigerian
households were most likely never talked to about sex and if we were talked to about
it, more likely than not it was talked about in a negative light. And when children
grow up with the perception of something that is so innately part of their
biology being Pandora’s box it leads to the high rate of teenage pregnancy (31%), which the country currently has.
It is only natural that from a young
age we became curious about different areas of our bodies and when certain body
parts started swelling, tingling, smelling, leaking or bleeding we wanted to
explore them. But if children are not guided by a trusted adult who makes them understand
the beauty of hormones and how to embrace the changes whilst also educating on
the emotional, mental, and physical significance of these things it further
perpetrates the negative ideals people have of their sexuality and for those young
individuals (mostly women) they end up carrying a responsibility before they
are mature enough to do so. This problem
is intensified when 48%
of inhabitants in Nigeria live on less than £2 a day, meaning that children being born
out of the horniness of these parents are less likely to have access to education,
employment that would take them out of their poverty.
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| Ihesie handing out free sanitary items to women in the community |
These are the kind of issues that
resonated with Ihesie whilst she was in South Africa studying Public Health as
her undergraduate degree at Monash University a change she made after not going
on with her first choice of Medicine. “I was focused on linking the social
angle to the health angle, finding out what are the sociological factors that
is pushing someone to have a health issue.” Her deep interests led her to
pursuing her Masters in HIV/AIDS and Health Management which she completed in
2014 before returning back to Nigeria.
As a UNHCR media ambassador she has
produced several documentaries highlighting the refugee crisis in Libya and the
Nigerian refugees that return. On her YouTube channel, ‘LoloTalks’, she produces profound social
documentaries and interviews which has amassed over 1.5million views. In her masterpiece
documentary, ‘Dream –
Street Teenagers in Lagos’ she
reveals the heart-breaking conditions of children living under the Lagos bridges,
which Ihesie confirmed to me were all under the age of 18. Asking her what it
felt like to interview these children she said, “we are listening to them, but
they are living it”. Going further to explain how deep-rooted the issue is she
said, "the trauma really, really dehumanises us in this country that you
forget to see people for who they are. They don’t have empathy, and that is the
only way you can survive - not having empathy.”
This is a stark reminder of the poor infrastructure
caused by the inadequate school curriculum, lack of health reforms and under
skilled workforce. Many of these children
had been forced to resort to petty crimes such as stealing in order to sustain
themselves. There were several instances I had to pause the video because I would
start tearing up from the pangs of guilt I was feeling of watching it in the
comfort of my bed in my heated apartment whilst they were out in the streets
their innocence eroding day by day. Scenes from Chris Abani’s post-colonial novel,
‘Graceland’ reappeared in my head of the 16-year old protagonist, Elvis
who became a ‘caretaker’ to the kids living under the bridge because many of them
were sexually molested and physically assaulted whilst they were out begging.
The part that really fucked with my emotions is when Abani describes how many of
the children would sleep standing up during rainy nights. And I know it is fiction
but much of fiction reflects real life. And therein lies the problem.
Ihesie makes no pretences of the
weight all these responsibilities have on her. Speaking on the last year she
said: “Last
year I think I was burnt out. It gets really overwhelming. I’m actually just
coming back for air. It’s a lot.”
Sustainability is a huge factor in all
her projects and one of her many frustrations is the perception that sexual
education has making attracting funds a challenge. “People see it as a passion they
don’t see the fact that it’s a public health issue. It’s something the
government should be doing. They see that’s just something you love doing, you
like helping people. But it’s a proper job. It’s a real thing.”
As much as the work she is doing is
highly impactful she acknowledges that, “a hundred NGOs cannot replace one functioning
government”. This is why one of her long-term goals is to work with the health
and education departments to provide female students
in primary and secondary schools free sanitary items. She believes this is
doable. And Scotland, recently showed that this is something that can be doable
as they are now the first country in the world who are close in making
sanitary items free for all women.
For a few brief moments we talked about
the descent of the new form of slavery which is the ‘economic colonisation’ from
places like China in Nigeria and when I voiced my displeasure of what
ultimately the leaders of the country were subjecting its citizens to, in a
tired tone she replied, “I mean, were we ever free? […] But it’s just because
the government is also not ensuring that it’s an enabling environment.”
In 2019 the activist wetted her toes in the political pool by collaborating with the First Lady of Ondo, Betty Anyanwu-Akeredolu. The collaboration was a chance encounter given that Ihesie had been applying for grants to help finance her reusable pad initiative but all her applications were rejected. It was through the advice of her mentor that she reached out to Akeredolu who also had a campaign of her own that focused on period poverty and held summer camps for school-age girls during which Ihesie was also able to provide training to the girls on how to make their own reusable pad.
In 2019 the activist wetted her toes in the political pool by collaborating with the First Lady of Ondo, Betty Anyanwu-Akeredolu. The collaboration was a chance encounter given that Ihesie had been applying for grants to help finance her reusable pad initiative but all her applications were rejected. It was through the advice of her mentor that she reached out to Akeredolu who also had a campaign of her own that focused on period poverty and held summer camps for school-age girls during which Ihesie was also able to provide training to the girls on how to make their own reusable pad.
Intrigued by the concept and the potential
of profitability I asked her if she had considered coming out with her own line
of eco-friendly sanitary products but she’d already beaten me to it as it was something
that she was already looking into and going further to explain that she would want
the materials to be locally sourced whilst also providing employment to women
from the community. As someone who is a great proponent for Nigerians and
Africans in general to be producers instead of exporters of goods this was music
to my ears that this was somewhere in the timeline for Ihesie to achieve.
I think it was only natural that a significant
portion of our conversation was centred around talking about generational trauma
something that sadly seems to be the backbone of Nigerian culture. And sadly it
is something that I addressed in my
TEDx talk
having had to combat personal struggles of my own. So when I came across Ihesie’s interview
with psychotherapist Amanda Iheme
speaking on these same issues it really felt like our paths were perfectly
aligned to meet (albeit, virtually - at least for now).
Somewhere in our childhood a lot of Nigerians
have been robbed off their identity as individuals. Many of us grow tied to the
expectations that our parents, elders set for us i.e. get a degree, get a job,
get married, have children. All these activities of “getting” things exist
outside of our beings, exist outside of us being okay with who we are within ourselves.
A lot of us from a religious households
would more than likely had their parents throw a Bible verse like this their
way “Children obey your parents for this is right” in order to manipulate us into
doing what they want but then they forget the following verse that says, “Fathers
do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them’.
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| Ihesie teaching at a boys' correction centre |
This is why Ihesie being the eldest of
six siblings she had the foresight from an early age to create boundaries: “It might
seem really tough, really mean in the Nigerian or African context […] But I’m
not going to start running around picking up my sisters from school. That is
the responsibility of my parents […] I
refuse to engage with activities that will drain me […]You want to take care of
everyone but the responsibilities never stop so you have to create boundaries […]
And whilst I’m focusing on my dreams my younger sisters are watching me do what
I have to do. I don’t tell them I show them.”
In every Lagosian I interact with
there is always this bubble of energy that seeps out of them in the way they talk
and carry themselves. Their work ethic is incomparable and their love for life amidst
struggle is infectious. This was no different to what I felt in Ihesie but as our
conversation was winding down, I was interested in finding out about Lolo. The Lolo
outside of rehabilitating boys in juvenile centres, the Lolo outside of
interviewing keke drivers, the Lolo outside of chasing grants and the Lolo outside
of standing up for her autonomy to decide whether to have children or not.
So
when I asked her what she liked doing it was almost not surprising that a lot
of the things she enjoyed doing such as going to the cinema, going to the gym,
reading African literature were all activities she did alone. A fellow empath,
she’s obviously a woman after my own heart. “In as much as I’m giving to people
I make sure that I also put back into myself.”
It was just as well that this
interview took place on the eve of her 25th birthday which served a perfect
time for reflection. “I feel so young. I can’t wait to be older. That’s actually
the way I want to live.”
I couldn’t have chosen a more suitable
person to interview for this new venture on
The Eféctive Times. The problems of Nigeria are plenty but it is
individuals like her that make the future of Africa’s Giant exciting. And I can
go on forever talking about why Ihesie is one to watch but for now I will let
her actions continue to do the talking.
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